Saturday, August 2, 2014

Yes, you can!

long time no write.. i have been busy with starting a lot of different things, finished only some and never sat down to put anything here. today is the day - find below the latest tech stuff i worked on and some thoughts that had to get out.


- Troopers video out

- talk at Area41 Z├╝rich on VB6 runtime analysis together with Jurriaan Bremer, write up here

- talk at SSTIC Rennes about a fun collection of anti-analysis tricks of all sorts, write ups spread all over

- Sazoora anti-analysis close up

- VirusBulletin article on VB6 runtime packers

- a Havex.RAT risk assessment, cause that thing wasn't so sophisticated at all 


lately i had some inspiring discussions about women's mindsets, with women about their mindsets and how some of them think i'm so much of a different creature. while i think thats bogus.

the past years i had a few very frightening and painful experiences; and as much as i want to believe that they are piling up because life is evil, i much rather think its me running towards them. 

to leave that somewhere: conference talks scare the living jesus out of me. thats why i love to do them. my karate trainings used to freak me out, twice a week. thats why i kept going. the first malware i put into a debugger felt worse than sparring, cause i was totally helpless.

as nice as the nevergiveup mantra sounds though, its not necessarily easy to stay hungry for challenges. my driving factor to keep researching is mainly the fun on exploring new things, combined with the cheerful satisfaction when something worked out. so by figuring out, the harder and smarter i try the more things work out the more i have to cheer about, i developed my own mindset towards a thorough 'Yes, you can!'.

the past year i talked to a handful of women in that business we are in. all of them bright and talented professionals, yet many did not blurt their yesican all over the place. instead i heard a lot of 'i have to learn this', 'i'm not sure about this', 'some day i will', 'i am not good at X' or plainly 'I can't.'

oh well.. i've been there too. most work i did the past year, submitting to conferences, joining on projects and such, i did because someone else said 'you can' while i thought i couldn't. and they said i would be able to while i thought 'but...'

but then again any challenge in life is a bit like sparring :) you go in, kick as smart and as hard as you can, and you go out again - in pain and a bit more skilled than before. because there is a point about sparring that most people don't know: fighters do this to sharpen their skills more than anything else. there is a common misperception, that if you are not able to do something today you won't be able to learn it in the future. 

which, i learned, is so plain wrong. 
all you need is some sparring to get the right skills :)

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